Missing mom on Mother's Day

Not sure how long I will feel this way but mother's day week is  definitely my least favorite week of the year now. Media has a way of reminding me everyday that I don't have a mom to spoil and thank and it really just plain sucks. There are a lot of days where it would be awesome to just lie in bed, cry, and feel sorry for myself. Luckily Mason keeps me from doing those things but all I can say is not having a mom….well…it just plain sucks.

I have a lot of things in my life that I would love to share with my mom. I wonder how many times she would have come to my new home and spent time with Mason. I miss the little gifts she used to send him in the mail and the cards she would send just to make me smile. Sometimes before bed, I'll imagine a conversation we would have had regarding current things going on in my life. Yes, that means I am talking to myself, but in my mind it feels real and brings a smile to my face before bed.

 One of the hardest parts of losing my mom unexpectedly is seeing how it has effected my whole family. Life is quieter, less giggles and jokes, and there is a stillness. I feel like she was my partner in crime and we had very similar personalities. I definitely miss those moments with her where I could be myself and have fun.

Being upset this time of year isn't good for anyone, especially my Mace face. I feel so privileged to be his mom and I hope to carry on the same traditions with him that my mom did with me. It's hard not having friends (besides Molly) who understand the pain and feelings of what losing a mom is like at times. I will admit, I felt angry at a lot of friends who didn't call, message me, or reach out after my mom passed. I was ignored by most of my close friends for months and I think that's the pain I won't forget. I think the process would have been a lot easier on me if I would have had that support. That is my one advice I would give to anyone who has had a friend lose someone is REACH OUT!! They need it.

Luckily, moving to Michigan was the best thing that could have happened to my little family. I have reconnected with friends, built new relationships with people, and enjoy a quieter less crazy lifestyle. I am able to see my sister and family more often which makes me so incredibly happy. Mason sees family now and gets a huge smile on his face because he recognizes them. It's just another reassurance that we made the right decision.

Sorry for the long post today! I have had a lot on my mind this week with Mother's Day. XOXO